happier

blah.

that is how i have been feeling lately. and i am sad and ashamed to write that i have

not completed one thing off of my list that my heart and soul keep wanting me to do.

of course a few of those things require money, and that is something i no longer know or

understand the concept of any more.  

in short, i am broke.  and i think will be broke. at least - for a while now.  i wanted to lie and tell you of all these wonderful things that i have been creating and accomplishing but that was something i may have (most likely) done in high school on my livejournal (rip).  

i also wish i could tell you how wonderful and peachy and happy i am lately but i also find that i can not type out those words.  because i am not.  

if i am being honest with myself, i feel that i am gipping (sp?) myself of everything that i am capable of and of everything that makes me, me.  i don't mean for this blog entry to be projectile vomit in the means of typing words and splattering it on the internet for everyone to see, but i guess the truth is that i am, in fact,  sad lately and thus, my blog entry tonight.  writing does make me happy though, so i guess i am doing some sort of productive thing that makes me hannah.

its almost 9pm, my bedtime.  ive turned into an old lady.

i wish that i could be a lost boy. 

i wish that peter pan and tinkerbelle would fly through my apartment window

and sprinkle pixie dust on me and i would float away.

over the moon, and through the stars.

away from working, and paying bills, and growing, and hurting, and aging.

i wish i could be a kid forever.

care free forever.

happy, forever.