if i close my eyes i'm laying down in my twin sized bed laying on top of my anthroplogie comforter.
if i close my eyes i can see my sisters in their bunk bed, chelsea putting her ear plugs in.
i can smell our peach scented yankeedoodle candle burning, flickering, dancing and filling our room with that wonderful, comforting smell.
the swan princess is playing and i am thinking about opening the gelato shop in the morning.
if i close my eyes i can see my first car. that purple car with radiohead stickers all over.
i can see springdale and i pass Marina high school as i head down springdale and make a left on to warner.
i can start to smell the beach. that salty, fishy, wet air that fills your nostrils and hypnotizes you.
if i close my eyes i look out the window and see all of you standing in front of catwalk.
riding your skateboards, laughing at your baby brother and making faces at me while i try to work.
if i close my eyes i can see the green bench sitting in front of The Closet and i can hear our conversation.
i can smell Wahoos and i can feel the warm sidewalk as i walk bare-footed to the pier.
i am sitting under the pier.
my butt is damp from the moist sand that hides under the overhang.
the ocean greets me as it gently touches my toes.
i run into its open arms and dive into the waves.
i can feel myself go up and down and up and down with the tide.
i never want to leave this place.
if i close my eyes i can feel the tops of my cheeks, sore, sunburned.
i get out and lay on my towel and start to drift away to the sound of the breaking waves.
the smell of salt and the sound of seagulls flying above me.
i fall asleep and wake up to my little dog, albert and my chilly apartment.
my heart hurts.
i miss the ocean.
