Sunday, April 1, 2012

a pain i've never known before. not until recently.  one that i can't escape from.
one that keeps me up late at night, and one that horrifies me in my dreams.
the only thing i can think to describe this pain is a stupid cliche, but i'll say it just the same;
it feels like a knife stabbing my heart and my soul. deep inside of me, the core of me. stabbing in and out.
in and out.  the feeling of being alone. often times i feel as though i am inside a box and
i'm screaming and screaming and crying and no one can hear me. i'm pounding my fists
and my body and tears are rolling out of my eyes and down my cheeks but its as if i am
not even there. i'm my own friend. i'm my own comfort. not even god will acknowledge me.
for who would acknowledge someone so ugly and horrifying. someone who would commit
such a crime.  i deserve to be alone. i deserve to be in pain. i deserve nothing.
i need a heart. i need a hug. and i need understanding eyes, and empathising words.
but i'm alone.
so alone.
so very alone.

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