so, i know i haven't written in a while -- its been quite a busy month! lots of things going on.
of course, all day at work today i was feeling inspired to write and now that i am home at a computer
my mind is at a blank. gotta love that. but anywho, i thought i would still write and try and fill all of you (many maaany readers, i'm sure ;) )in on whats been going on and what i've been processing in my head.
summer is almost completely, officially over. and i have mixed feelings about this. however, it has been quite stifling lately, and i don't really find summer clothes to be very cute. i am excited about wearing colorful scarves, with plain black clothing, or throwing a simple bold color beanie (beret) of some sort to liven up my outfit, and if i'm really feeling wild, maybe put on some lipstick and make my cateyes extra bold and thick, like amy winehouse.
I think whats most strange to me about entering the fall season is i really feel like i was just here a couple months ago... like thanksgiving was only a distant memory, that i just turned 20 and i just met noah. but no, that was a year ago.. and winter is right around the corner - again. The holidays make me so nostalgic. its like a constant fucking reminder that i'm on my own, and i don't have my family with me. that i am (sadly) an adult and i live in my own apartment and this year, like last year, i have to fend for myself for the holiday season. most likely attend another family's gathering and all the while, in my head i'm thinking of my family. when i see the parents scuffling around preparing food, excited for their grown children to return home for the holiday, i cant help but think of my parents. Parents of 5 children, with only two to enjoy the smiles and laughs and the smell of food in the air. only two of their kids to be annoyed at my mother's notorious late dinners and only two children to sit around the table and share why they are thankful for each other. it breaks my heart. i often daydream about what it would be like if my parents lived here in portland. maybe one day we will see.
september also reminds me of past friends. how excited we would be for all the "haunt" mazes and to scheme a way to get each of our crushes to go with us to these scary events! for all of the holiday drinks at starbucks, and ditching class and smoking cigarettes while we wore our peacoats and scarves. oh, how things change even if you try your hardest to prevent it.
this fall i will be working full time. i will try my hardest to go to the haunted corn maze this year and this fall i am finally turning the wonderful 2-1. i will laugh and spend time with my friends in portland. last but not least, i can not wait to see the changing color of the leaves. to hear the crackle of the leaves break as i lift up my foot to take another step forward. to continue on in the journey of my life. to make the most of it, to live and be happy. i am excited for fall :)